Me and Marvin

"The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into sort of a decline" Marvin the Paranoid Android, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I kind of like the TV version better

That's about the way that this year has felt to me. I've been kind of like a balloon the day after the party, when some of the helium has evaporated from it, and it settles to the floor. You can tap it or kick it, and it'll float for a minute, then slowly drift downwards again, answering the call of gravity.

I've rallied occasionally, but kept drifting back down again. But now, after struggling so much, I can finally feel my mood lifting.

I am also making some progress on my goals.

I'm still not showering as often as I need to, but I am brushing my teeth pretty much every day. This after visiting the dentist and having a good checkup, thank goodness. My sister recently visited the dentist after a long hiatus, and she has some very extensive and expensive work ahead of her. So that was definitely motivation to pay more attention to my dental hygiene. Also, the dental assistant was very nice and understanding. I told her it was difficult for me to get things done because of depression. She told me she understood; that her mother also dealt with depression. So she was gentle with telling me what to do, instead of lecturing me as many health professionals are prone to do.

My sleep pattern is still coming 'round the clock, but I am back on days, which means I get my sunlight in the morning while sitting on the patio next to the pool surrounded by palm trees. I have to be grateful for having such a pleasant location to enjoy.

I have been exercising more. Well, cleaning, actually. I believe that if you perspire, it counts as exercise. And I'm certainly working up a sweat. My parents have a huge house, and I haven't done much cleaning over the summer. They're coming home this week, so I'm doing the whole nine yards. Vacuuming, mopping, cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry....

And besides getting the house clean, the exercise is really lifting my mood, and helping me to sleep better.

I think my mood is also lifting because I'm looking forward to them returning. They've been away all summer, so the house is kind of empty, and I've gotten into a rut. Of course, I've been in a rut since January. Like poor Marvin, above, abandoned on a planet while a parking lot was built around him.

So, goals for the week, or for the next few days, at least:

I'm definitely going to take a shower today. I'm all sweaty from vacuuming, and I still need to mop.
Making dinner tomorrow for the parental units.
Going to synagogue on Saturday.
Also, I need to floss more.